Is hanging out with friends biblical self-care?
This is Felicia Ferguson with Christian Mix 106, helping you build faith for the journey.
Ask any extrovert and they’ll tell you that they feel recharged by spending time with others. But friendships will benefit even the lonest loner or the most introverted introvert, making them an excellent option for self-care. But is hanging out with your friends biblical self-care?
Yes!
After the crucifixion, the disciples and the women who followed Jesus gathered together. Not merely to hide from the Roman soldiers, but also to support and protect each other. As they began their evangelistic missions, they continued to prioritize spending time together. “Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved” (Acts 2:46-47). This new church committed to spending time together and devoting themselves to studying the Word and the apostles’ teaching. They also regularly gathered in homes for meals and communion.
In Romans, Paul wrote to them saying he longed to visit the Roman church. “I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong—that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.” He inspired the Thessalonian church to continue supporting and building each other up. He later counseled the Hebrews to make time to meet and encourage each other in their good works.
But the type of friendship may be just as important as the presence of it in our lives. The popular notion of toxic friends is not new. The book of Proverbs instructs readers to choose their friends carefully. Wise friends are to be valued over foolish ones and those who are quick to anger should be avoided so their habits won’t corrupt you. Paul echoes that advice in 1 Corinthians 15:33, “Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’” Mounting research evidence is also proving negative or toxic friendships are at least associated with adverse mental and physical states. They produce high levels of distress that can last a long time.
But even If you have healthy friendships, it’s important to actually spend time with those friends. Unfortunately, most Americans report only spending thirty-seven minutes of quality time together each day. Hectic work routines, school, and extra-curricular commitments all factor into this lack of time. So the question then becomes, which is more valuable when it comes to spending time with friends, quality or quantity? It shouldn’t be surprising that quality wins out. But what constitutes quality time might be surprising. Every day activities like running errands, and unplanned, unstructured events offer more value than organized and manufactured interactions.
So the next time you’re feeling depleted, give a friend a call or text and ask to meet for coffee or go for a walk in the park. Chances are, when you part ways a little while later, you’ll feel rejuvenated and ready to take on the world—or just your latest stressful project.
This is Felicia Ferguson. Thanks for listening to Christian Mix 106.
